Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.

I want to always be an interloper. I never want to feel like I'm a guy who is embraced by the people who are putting me on the air. I want to feel like I broke into the studio and took over and made them mad. If I'm not doing that, I'm not doing my job.

People are either good or they're not. Religion doesn't make anybody good, I don't think.

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.

Thanks [Donald] Trump for exposing evangelicals as 'shameless hypocrites'.

We do it all the time, we legislate taste. We do it with the tax code. Churches and children get a tax break, because it's assumed that we all agree that we want to encourage churches and children. I don't. I don't. That's my opinion. I don't want to encourage either churches or children, and it's a very bad idea to put them together.

Gordon Gekko was right: greed is good. Because, the potty-trained Republicans have now stepped forward - like the Koch brothers - to say, 'You know what? You yokels stop talking about defaulting on the debt, because I'm going to lose a fortune!'