John McCain, who once called Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson 'forces of evil', has now come out for teaching intelligent design. That is sad, when smart people have to pretend to be so dumb to get elected.

I just don't see why anybody would vote Republican in the Army. If you want to support the troops, if I was a troop, I would say, 'You know how to support me? Don't send me to stupid wars.'

A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid.

A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out.

We're all gonna be gay if we get health care!

I get the Playboy thing a lot. People assume I go out with bimbos. I couldn`t go out with bimbos if I tried! I scare them off! The women that like me are smart. So I go to the Playboy Mansion four or five times a year, but people think I go all the time.

I want to see riots! I want to see the kind of riots where cab drivers are afraid to pick up white people! I want to see this guy!