I never, ever in my life tried to be outrageous. I've only ever tried to say what was truly on my mind and not pull punches about it.
Bill MaherYour taxes are due a week from today. You can make out your check directly to Halliburton. Or you can do what I'm going to do. I'm filing my first joint return. No, I'm not getting married, I'm sending the IRS an actual joint with a note that says, 'If you think I'm paying for this war, you must be high.'
Bill MaherIt's understandable why a minority that was treated as badly as blacks in this country have been for so long would, when they finally found themselves on top, brag about it and want to shout from the rooftops.
Bill MaherIf the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns.
Bill Maher