Sarah Palin finally heard what happened in Japan and she's demanding that we invade 'Tsunami.'

When we make mistakes they call it evil

Hey birthers, wanna hear my theory? My theory was that Obama was born in America and you were born with the umbilical cord around your neck.

But isn't there something wrong when I'm the only guy in the country that got fired for 9/11?

New Rule: Food companies must face the facts: One container equals one serving. Look, we’re Americans, and that means once we open the bag, there’s no stopping us until we’re licking stray bits of powdered cheese off the carpet. So stop trying to give us nutritional information based on a fraction of the package. It assumes a talent for two things that we’re really not capable of: restraint and math.

Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream?

The Senate decided they will be smoke-free. They ordained that all public areas in the Senate are now smoke-free. However, the senators themselves will still be allowed to blow smoke up each other's asses.