When I was in high school the worst thing you could ever get was VD. Talk about the sniffles! I just want to meet an old-fashioned girl with gonorrhea.

I like groaning. That means that you're not pandering to their already settled prejudices.

Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.

The American people don't really care what side of an issue you're on. They just don't want you to act like a pussy.

Dealing w/ Hamas is like dealing w/ a crazy woman who’s trying to kill u – u can only hold her wrists so long before you have to slap her.

If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.

A Republican Congressman, Rep. Chris Lee, was caught flirting with a woman trolling for dates on Craigslist and sent her a shirtless photo of himself. He lied about his age and his marital status. He said he was 39 and divorced. He's 46 and married, though being a Republican congressman, I'm guessing he's really 60 and gay.