The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

Why can't God just defeat the devil and get rid of evil? It's the same reason the comic book character can't get rid of his nemesis; then there's no story.

It's so easy to demagogue the issue and make someone who speaks out against the internal-combustion engine sound like an insane communist, when the truth is that the internal-combustion engine is the biggest threat to my life in the next 25 years, in terms of what it's doing to our environment and how it's depleting the ozone layer and so forth.

People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They're DEFINITELY GAY!!

Selling pot allowed me to get through college and make enough money to start off in comedy.

Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can't pass a background check support background checks.

I'm worried about a permanent Republican majority. That's what I'm worried about for the future.