I think I know now why we are occupying Iraq. In case we have to sell America and move to a smaller country.

Only 42 percent of Republicans believe Obama was born in the United States. That's an amazing statistic. How come in America Christians are the only ones who won't take anything on faith?

I'm guessing our soldiers are happy to be leaving Iraq. It is no fun being in a country where there's crumbling infrastructure and an ignorant population, but they said they're happy to come home anyway.

New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of "every man for himself" doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.

I have two dogs. If I had retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet, the dogs are pretty much the same thing.

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window.

At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.