I think I know now why we are occupying Iraq. In case we have to sell America and move to a smaller country.

[The Republicans] are always asking the Muslims to denounce their extremists. And I agree with them. But they don't take that note and do it among their own. They don't denounce their own extremists.

America is like a dog. I'm sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can't actually explain issues to a dog.

I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.

I know climate change is a hoax – of course – but places that have never seen this type of winter weather got hit by it. More than a half a million southerners have been left in the dark --- and then the storm hit.

My father said, Bring along your best girl. This is something you say to a pimp!

Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.