Hey birthers, wanna hear my theory? My theory was that Obama was born in America and you were born with the umbilical cord around your neck.

Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about.

Rush Limbaugh, who has made a career preaching that anybody who does drugs has got to go right to jail - do not pass go, no questions asked, right to jail - gets caught doing thirty oxycontin a day. Thirty oxycontin?! Do you have any idea how high that is?! I don't, and I've been pretty high!

Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be f**king stupid.

So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies.

We take one group of people and we demonize them. Trying to turn people against our Muslim friend and neighbors.

It's very well known that the Republicans have problems with minorities. The Democrats have big problems with white people. Obama only got 39% of the vote. He only got 36% of the working-class white people.