There was one awkward moment where a black man stood-up to ask a question and out of habit, Bush said 'Clemency denied.'

I think the news people no longer have any idea of what covering the news is.

Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only moderately religious really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace and comfort that religion brings you actually comes at a terrible price.

If I thought the Lord was speaking to me I'd check myself into Bellevue, and I think you should too.

I see they found out the universe is 80 million years older than we thought. It's also been lying about its weight.

I'm against suing tobacco companies. I think abstinence is a perversion. I think Bush's lies are worse than Clinton's. I think Vegas was better when it was run by the mob. I think men are only as loyal as their options. I think stereotypes are true and rehab is for quitters.

Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that.