Movie acting suits me because I only need to be good for ninety seconds at a time.

I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.

I'm not an ungenerous person; I don't resent it. It's just sort of a head-scratcher.

You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.

When you act obnoxious towards people, like on a movie set, they say "we're ready for you" and I say "oh, go to hell, my feet hurt and my head aches." You want to have a margarita for lunch, and people like these little ADs and production assistants are like, "well, he's drinking again."

If you have someone that you think is The One, don't just sort of think in your ordinary mind, 'Okay, let's pick a date. Let's plan this and make a party and get married.' Take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world, and go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And if when you come back to JFK, when you land in JFK, and you're still in love with that person, get married at the airport.

I go home and stay there. I wash and scrub up each day, and that's it. One month I actually grew a moustache, just so I could say that I'd done something.