Tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can't explain that. You can't explain why the tide goes in.

The Denver Post has actually hired an editor to promote pot.

You know what's really frightening? You (Jon Stewart) actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it's true. You've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote.

Many children fully realize their parents see them as astonishing creatures and incorporate that into their daily presentations. That is, they throw their stuff on the floor because if you are truly amazing you can pretty much do what you want. Right?

Dan Rather is guilty of not being skeptical enough about a story that was politically loaded.

On the foreign policy front, Barack Obama is not a confrontational man. He stayed away from all confrontations, and you can look and see what happened overseas. It's a mess everywhere. So he made major mistakes, major policy mistakes. Those mistakes are not going to be forgiven by history.

I don't know of any government leaders that are killers.