What can I do, I asked myself, that is so spectacular that no one will be able to say he had seen it before? The answer was perfectly obvious. I would send a midget up to bat.

Next to the confrontation between two highly honed batteries of lawyers, jungle warfare is a stately minuet.

Baseball is a boy's game that makes grown men cry.

Suffering is overrated. It doesn't teach you anything.

Baseball is the only thing beside the paper clip that hasn't changed

Hating the Yankees isn't part of my act. It is one of those exquisite times when life and art are in perfect conjunction.

I have discovered in 20 years of moving around a ballpark, that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats.