If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.

You can make your superhero a psychopath, you can draw gut-splattering violence, and you can call it a "graphic novel," but comic books are still incredibly stupid.

I guess I have a gift for expressing pedestrian tastes. In a way, it's kind of depressing.

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

People always make the mistake of thinking art is created for them. But really, art is a private language for sophisticates to congratulate themselves on their superiority to the rest of the world. As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance.

Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming, you have the Swiss Army Knife of mental tools, and it's going to come in handy all the time.

I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.