Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don't know where the bathroom is.

Sometimes even lawyers need lawyers.

Paintings are like a beer, only beer tastes good and it's hard to stop drinking beer.

My mother went into the Peace Corps when she was sixtyeight. My one sister is a motorcycle freak, my other sister is a Holy Roller evangelist and my brother is running for President. I’m the only sane one in the family.

I found out water can be drunk straight.

I'm not the Carter who'll never tell a lie.

Yes, sir. I'm a real Southern boy. I got a red neck, white socks, and Blue Ribbon beer.