We were in front of a live audience and I would be acting with the man who was playing my lover, and we used those words, and the audience would titter and laugh, and make me uncomfortable doing the scenes. ... I wanted to sort of stop and yell at them, "What's so funny? What's the matter with you people? Grow up!" It made me very self-conscious at times.
Billy CrystalAt some point I stopped stand-up because I didn't have something to say on a nightly basis.
Billy CrystalWell, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar.
Billy CrystalConsider the rose...The rose is the sweetest smelling flower of all, and it's the most beautiful because it's the most simple, right? But sometimes, you got to clip the rose. You got to cut the rose back, so something sweeter smelling and stronger, and even more beautiful, will grow in its place
Billy Crystal