Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.

I had really good hearing and when you're scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.

At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn't have something to say on a nightly basis.

When I've gotten criticism, it's that it's too long, too soft, didn't hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What's he doing hitting the government?

I quit drinking. That was a big problem for a lot of years. Then after that, I just started feeling grateful again.

The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.

Change is such hard work.