If you have no joy in your religion, there's a leak in your Christianity somewhere.

God likes a little humor, as is evidence by the fact that he made the monkeys, the parrot -- and some of you people.

There is no law, divine or human, that the saloon respects.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

When the word of God says one thing and scholarship says another, scholarship can go to hell.

There is a mighty power in a mother's hand. There's more power in a woman's hand than there is in a king's scepter. And there is a mighty power in a mother's kiss — inspiration, courage, hope, ambition, in a mother's kiss.

The only way to keep a broken vessel full is to keep it always under the tap.