I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it's never at the expense of the other guy.

I would order a dozen bats and there were times they'd come back with handles at each end.

Between me and my roommate, we've hit 400 Major League home runs.

Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.

I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career - anything for a laugh.

I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn't appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though.

I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel's suitcase.