Everybody thinks I'm at death's door, but I'm not. There's nothing seriously wrong with me, and my heart is in 100 percent working order. Anything else you may hear is a damn lie!

I could have a roomful of awards and it wouldn't mean beans

I've done a lot of things and I've been a lot of people, but now I've come to realize who I am

Memories are like moonbeams; we do with them what we want.

A-well-a, splish, splash, I forgot about the bath, I went and put my dancing shoes on.

There are certain times I don't want my picture taken. If my wife's stepping out of a car and it looks like it's going to come out an indecent picture, don't I have a right to object?

This marriage is no one's business but our own.