When I first started doing stand-up, I would be so nervous that I would just binge drink really heavily right before my sets, and as you can imagine, that had its drawbacks. But now I'm a professional, so I pace myself throughout the day.
Bonnie McFarlaneYou know, women are burdened with all this other crap all the time, like looking good. You need to be really superhuman to be successful as a woman.
Bonnie McFarlaneI don't think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was I should cut my bangs.
Bonnie McFarlaneIf you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior - unless you're Jewish.
Bonnie McFarlane