I don't know anything about you, so when you randomly come up and grab my ass, this isn't a friend doing it. It's like, "Who the f### is doing...? I was not expecting that."

Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to - everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.

The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.

There is often times when I'm in a bar or after a show, and a woman just grabs my head and shoves it into her cleavage, or grabs my ass, or something like that which - don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining, but it's just interesting. It's just interesting that that occurs.

That is the most confusing and insane thing to me, when people get offended on behalf of another group.

Freedom of speech does not mean that you have to agree with everything that a comedian says, but that comedian should have the freedom to be able to try to make that funny. It's the attempt that I'm trying to defend so hard, no necessarily the execution.

When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, "And now his watch is over." That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, "And now his tour is done."