I don't know anything about you, so when you randomly come up and grab my ass, this isn't a friend doing it. It's like, "Who the f### is doing...? I was not expecting that."

I hate that when people are like, "Well, all dwarves know each other, right?" And you want to get mad, but you can't because we do.

I don't want to be mean. I try not to be.

Just imagine in 20 years, when candidates will have grown up with social media their entire lives. We're going to have a president where we have - where someone could go through their timeline, or someone could go through their Snapchat, or someone will find - a future president will have sent a d### pic.

When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, "And now his watch is over." That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, "And now his tour is done."

I don't think I'm extremely intelligent by any means.

Comedian makes the statement that just isn't true.