I think the serving size of ice cream is when you hear the spoon hit the bottom of the container.

Like, I'm trying to make a statement that clean comedy is somehow better or loftier than dirty comedy, and I don't feel that way at all. I just think it's different. It's different. There's rock music, there's jazz music, there's reggae music: All of those forms are different.

Don't let dialog about your company happen without your perspective.

I'm honored that other comedians like what I do. That means the world to me. But at the same time when I'm on stage I'm not just trying to make the comedians laugh - I'm also trying to make the audience laugh. I want to make everybody laugh.

Can you imagine being bilingual? Or even knowing anybody that was? I'm not even unilingual. Actually, I shouldn't say that. I don't give myself enough credit. I know enough English to, you know, get by. I can order in restaurants and stuff.

I don't know. I'd be a lot better off if I would've studied more when I was growing up, you know?

If Einstein was so smart how come people only call you 'Einstein' when you do something really stupid ?