Did you write the words, or the lyrics?

My biggest regret is that my mother didn't see me walk on to that London Palladium stage, being the star she always wanted me to be. But I always say that when she reached Heaven, she had a word with a few agents.

My holidays are very important. Mind you, I take a very long one every year.

When I was in the business as a young performer, it was a recognised fact that when you got to 60 you were out, because there'd be a new crop of comics coming up all the time, every 10 years or so.

Little did I know that there's nothing more competitive in the world than a professional ballroom dancer. They are as competitive as Olympic athletes.

They do say, the smaller the feet, the better the dancer.

You can shuffle my deck any day!