So what is it with your mother that you haven't worked out yet?
If I think that someone else is causing my problem, I'm insane.
Realizing that people should lie when they do makes me a little more open-minded, a little more tolerant, when my child or my partner lies.
Sometimes the concept you're questioning makes more sense to ask just the second one and not the first one.
It makes sense that no one else can cause you pain. That's your job.
If we are in silence - in absolute silence with no thoughts - for 10 minutes, it's only a thought that tells us we were silent for 10 minutes. Our only proof is a thought.