What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded, badly dressed, fat, receding, lazy and smug they might be. Are you a feminist? Hahaha. Of course you are.

I am not good at small talk. I will hide in a cupboard to avoid chitty-chat.

I’m neither ‘pro-women’ nor ‘anti-men’. I’m just ‘Thumbs up for the six billion

A library in the middle of a community is a cross between an emergency exit, a life raft and a festival. They are cathedrals of the mind; hospitals of the soul; theme parks of the imagination. On a cold, rainy island, they are the only sheltered public spaces where you are not a consumer, but a citizen, instead.

Mental health is seen as a massive drag to have to write about - worthy, dull. Something you should 'have' to read / write about.

In the end I want to spend my 60s writing bonkbusters like Jilly Cooper.

I say this in the spirit of feminist encouragement, but I think I'm pretty hot. I've got all the facial features, facing the right way, at the right end, and you can always paint over the bad bits with makeup.