I don't want children anyway,' Caz says. 'So I'm getting nothing out of this whatsoever. I want my entire reproductive system taken out, and replaced with spare lungs, for when I start smoking. I want that option. This is pointless.

Let's all go and be feminists in the pub.

I do not... look very feminine. Diana, Princess of Wales is feminine... I am... femi-none.

In the end I want to spend my 60s writing bonkbusters like Jilly Cooper.

You can always tell when a woman is with the wrong man, because she has so much to say about the fact that nothing's happening.

I say this in the spirit of feminist encouragement, but I think I'm pretty hot. I've got all the facial features, facing the right way, at the right end, and you can always paint over the bad bits with makeup.

Any action a woman engages in from a spirit of joy, and within a similarly safe and joyous environment, falls within the city-walls of feminism. A girl has a right to dance how she wants, when her favourite record comes on.