I think in the old days, the nexus of weirdness ran through Southern California, and to a degree New York City. I think it's changed so that every bizarre story in the country now has a Florida connection. I don't know why, except it must be some inversion of magnetic poles or something.

When you're given a newspaper column, you're not being paid to sit on a fence and scratch your chin and say 'On the one hand this' and 'On the other hand that.' You're getting paid for your opinion.

and in the meantime don't jump to conclusions.

I'd always wanted to write books ever since I was a kid.

Jimmy Lee Baylis was a wise man, and knew better than to talk back to the man who signed his paycheck.

My driving record is not exemplary, but I have never had a speeding ticket over 100 m.p.h. I can say that unequivocally.

Disney world is an armpit compared to Montana.