Your parents' views are, by current standards, out there. Getting in their faces about it would be needlessly disrespectful, but there's no reason for you to tiptoe through their delusional little terrarium as if you can't bend even one blade of grass.

Waiting for someone to propose to you only passes the "Really, it's tradition!" sniff test when both of you think it's the man's job to propose and both of you think that's awesome.

Plan your own vacations when you want to, and plan a suitable combined vacation with this other family when you want to. If they freak out at your planning your own vacations as you see fit, then let them. Bowing to unreasonable demands because someone will make you pay emotionally if you don't is not a healthy option.

If you're not sure what you want, then hold back from making plans or responding to invitations until you have a chance to think about it.

First group impressions can mask a lot of individual variations in the members.

Make sure you have legal cover for what you're doing.

Almost no one can take on an entire future in one step, much less while reeling emotionally.