I am mentally ill. I can say that. I am not ashamed of that. I survived that, I'm still surviving it, but bring it on. Better me than you.

Females get hired along procreative lines. After 40, we're kind of cooked.

Guys are great before you know who they are,' said Lucy. 'They're great when you're still with who they might be.

There is no point at which you can say, "Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap."

You know how most illnesses have symptoms you can recognize? Like fever, upset stomach, chills, whatever. Well, with manic depression, it's sexual promiscuity, excessive spending, and substance abuse - and that just sounds like a fantastic weekend in Vegas to me!

If talking were aerobic, I'd be the thinnest person in the world.

I have a girlfriend who talks like that all the time. Who constantly complain about their periods and plumbing and stuff.