There is no point at which you can say, "Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap."

People see me and they squeal like tropical birds or seals stranded on the beach.

I hate caviar. Ugh! The freebase of food!

I've often said to myself, "Thank God I can write, 'cause this is hilarious." I actually wanted to go into all that more in the book, but my editor thought it was too crazy.

[My grandparents] were from Texas. El Paso. White trash.

There is no point at which you can say, "Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap."

I don't think 50-50 relationships exist. Men have an incredibly variety of options. It's much harder for a woman to do both things. I think traditional relationships work best.