I've always wanted to do a segment on a talk show. Jay Leno has been such a good friend, and if he would allow me, I'd have to get it all together, but I'd like to go on 'The Tonight Show' and do a set with no props. Or come out with a trunk and never touch it. Or come out with a clear trunk with nothing in it.

I think the more you do this and the more comfortable you become on stage, you start speaking more and becoming more of a character in yourself.

When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.

I'd love to be animated. I've always wanted to jump off of a bridge and not be hurt, like Bugs Bunny.

Almost every day, someone asks if I ever flat iron my hair. I say, 'No, because I'm afraid it wouldn't look good and wouldn't come back curly.'

The street in the center of town was Butts road. I stole the sign and told the audience, this must be where the assholes live. I also had a Neighborhood Crime Watch - it takes about 20 seconds to break into a house but it took me an hour to unbolt this sign.

Everyone has the gift of laughter inside of them. All the world is a prop.