Some people even think I wear a wig. Do they think I went into a salon one day and said, Can you please screw this up really bad?

In movies, you don't get reactions: Live, when you do a joke, you know in a second whether it's good or bad. But in a movie, since no one is allowed to laugh or do anything, when you're done with a scene, you're left asking, 'Was that funny?'

I'd love to be animated. I've always wanted to jump off of a bridge and not be hurt, like Bugs Bunny.

I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny.

I always make fun of KISS because I don't particularly think their music is anything.

It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends.

My real name is Scott Thompson. I could have gone by that name, but when I started doing comedy I thought I needed to go by something that has a little more of a hook.