Some people even think I wear a wig. Do they think I went into a salon one day and said, Can you please screw this up really bad?

I don't want to be known just as 'Carrot Top.' I don't always want to be this crazy, goofy guy.

When I was younger I always thought, 'If I were ever a comedian I'd make it like a rock concert.' I wanted to generate that type of enthusiasm and excitement.

I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.'

The street in the center of town was Butts road. I stole the sign and told the audience, this must be where the assholes live. I also had a Neighborhood Crime Watch - it takes about 20 seconds to break into a house but it took me an hour to unbolt this sign.

I'd love to be animated. I've always wanted to jump off of a bridge and not be hurt, like Bugs Bunny.

Everyone has the gift of laughter inside of them. All the world is a prop.