So often, happiness is the extent to which we balance our grandiose expectations with reality.

My mother had always taught me to write about my feelings instead of sharing really personal things with others, so I spent many evenings writing in my diary, eating everything in the kitchen and waiting for Mr. Wrong to call.

After 14 years of dieting, there are only two things I've never lost. Hope and weight.

Small wastebasket liners, $1.17 ... tall wastebasket liners, $2.29 ... garbage can liners, $3.98 ... I think I just spent $7.44 buying something I'm going to throw away.

Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.

The specific story line that people have responded to the most has been the horror of bathing suit shopping.

I've found it's better to talk to the machine and hang up if I get the person.