I was supposed to be a romancer, either wooing the leading lady or competing with the leading man for her.

Well, you know what they say in Hollywood - the most important thing is being sincere, even if you have to fake it.

I thought it was very humanitarian of Sean Penn and Madonna to marry each other. That way, they make only two people miserable instead of four.

I should only have been as lucky as Valentino, in the movies - I didnt have to be a gigolo. In real life.

A joke a day keeps the gloom away!

In the future, all robots will act like Don Knotts.

People would read all kinds of reaction into it, but Tracy told me himself that half the time he was just standing very still, trying to look sober and composed. That takes nothing away from him. The fact he got away with it was a tribute to his talent.