You've reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night," "For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to alive person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you.

I’d always enjoyed life, and I knew I would again. But I was going to have to slog through a lot of bad patches to get there

Men! Dead or alive, they could be exactly the same.

When you're a professional you do your job no matter what gets in the way. You might take a sick day, you might take a personal day, but then you show back up or you won't get paid. Everyone develops his/her own strategy for dealing with days that are not productive.

It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal.

I felt like a car that had only been operated by one driver… a car its new prospective buyer was determined to take to the Daytona 500.

Sookie: Is Eric around?" Pam: "He is enthralling the vermin.