Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cause you were too close, kissing his!

These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it.

I don't know anything about Angola, but Angola's in trouble.

Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

If Michael Jordan was a damn plumber, he couldn't get a date. Any guy got $500 million looks good.

I read that heavy drinking is bad for your health. I decided I better stop reading.

As long as anti-gay legislation exists in any state, I strongly believe big events such as the Final Four and Super Bowl should not be held in those states' cities.