Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cause you were too close, kissing his!

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

Most sportswriters don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.

I don't believe athletes should be role models. . . . We're a one-shot deal, one in a million, so we should be the least likely role models. . . . I think one of the problems in society today is that we don't stress education enough, because we glorify athletes, actors and actresses.

Thank God for Jerry Springer's show. I thought only black folks were that screwed up until I watched Jerry Springer.

Everybody in New York thinks the Knicks are Playboy bunnies, and I have been telling them for years the Knicks are a rabbit. They're closer to a Playboy bunny this year but for the last few years these guys are like, 'We have a really good team!' And I say, 'You really think that?' And I say, 'No, they don't.' But this is the best team they've had in a while.

To me, there's only 5 real jobs in America: Police Officers, Teachers, Firefighters, Doctors, and the Military Service.