The meek may inherit the earth, but they wont get the ball from me.

Sometimes I have to criticize guys to try to make it fun, I mean, I'm out there trying to bust other people. I want all these guys to do well, but when they do something stupid or don't play well, I try not to kill 'em, I try to make 'em laugh a little bit.

Listening to a woman is almost as bad as losing to one. There are only three things that women are better at than men: cleaning, cooking, and having sex.

Poor people have been voting for Democrats for the last 50 years and they're still poor.

Just because you say something doesn't make it controversial, and it doesn't make you a bad person.

My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.

When I speak to kids I tell them, 'Hey, you think your parents are a pain in the ass now, but they're going to get smarter as you get older.'