What can you do when you don't fit in? What can you do when life seems to be passing you by?" "Follow me. I want to show you something. See the horizon over there? See how big this world is? See how much room there is for everybody? Have you ever seen any other worlds?" "No." "As far as you know, this is the only world there is, right?" "Right." "There are no other worlds for you to live in, right?" "Right." "You were born to live in this world, right?" "Right." "WELL LIVE IN IT THEN! Five cents please.

I proved to you that psychiatry is an exact science!" "An exact science?!" "Yes, you owe me exactly one hundred and forty-three dollars!

Dear Sweetheart, do you ever think of me? Just the other day I was thinking of you. I'm pretty sure it was you.

Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.

It's a mistake to try to avoid the unpleasant things in life... But I'm beginning to consider it.

Just thinking about a friend makes you want to do a happy dance, because a friend is someone who loves you in spite of your faults.

You try for a little happiness, and what do you get? A few memories and a fat stomach!