I waited tables in New York, and when you're in that line of work, you often have a horrible boss.

Knowing that I'm not a model and I'm never going to be has relieved me of the pressure of looking good. If you don't establish yourself as McDreamy then you don't have to live up to it.

I have expanded my mind and destroyed my liver but I didn't give up.

There are times in your life when you feel like the dumbest man on the planet and you’re insecure about something, and then there are times where you feel like, “Hey, I’m a pretty smart guy and I’m pulling it together …”

You live your comedic life close to the edge, you're gonna cross the line and offend people.

It is not elegant to gnaw Indian corn. The kernels should be scored with a knife, scraped off into the plate, and then eaten with a fork. Ladies should be particularly careful how they manage so ticklish a dainty, lest the exhibition rub off a little desirable romance.

Starting out, I bet I didn't get a lot of parts because of my strange voice. I'm not consciously thinking, 'Hey, sound like a squeaky dog toy mixed with a bagful of rusty nails.' It's just what my voice has done.