Where's my white collarless shirt from Fred Segal? It's my most capable-looking outfit!

Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries.

There's not someone who tells you how adorable you are and rubs your head and goes into a crowded press conference and stands at the back and winks at you so that you think, 'I can get through this.'

If you are going to wait for someone to encourage you to do something, you just better give up.

I remember a great America where we made everything. There was a time when the only thing you got from Japan was a really bad cheap transistor radio that some aunt gave you for Christmas.

My relationships usually last a few years. When I'm involved with a man, other men are fascinated with me, but the minute I'm single again, half of those men disappear because they don't have the balls to really want me.

OMG! Is this true? [Marcus Bachmann] has a Christian clinic where he de-programs gay boys & girls! I'm gonna strangle him with my Boa!