It takes a tremendous act of courage to admit to yourself that you are not defective in any way whatsoever.
It doesn't matter what did or did not happen then. It only matters what happens NOW.
That which you seek, is causing you to seek.
Going in the wrong direction but making really good time
You have been taught that there is something wrong with you and that you are imperfect, but there isn't and you're not.
If you want to know what you were conditioned to believe as a child, look at how you treat yourself now.