I do better singing female songs because my voice is so high-pitched.

Not taking yourself too seriously, that's the important thing.

I could never rap, personally. I can't even wrap presents.

What grinds me the most is that we’re sending kids out into the world who don’t know how to balance a checkbook, don’t know how to apply for a loan, don’t even know how to properly fill out a job application, but because they know the quadratic formula we consider them prepared for the world?

Sometimes you have good days, and sometimes you have bad days. It really depends on how much caffeine you've had.

The gay people I knew in real life were soft spoken and didn't want to call attention to themselves because they were terrified of exposing themselves, of people finding out that they're gay.

I do all kind of fun things when I'm unconscious.