My father was one of the greatest professional bowlers of all time. Seriously. Billy Hardwick: PBA Hall of Fame, Player of the Year in '63 and '69, and the first winner of the triple crown of bowling, among other things.

One of the many reasons why I love stand-up so much is when you're performing, you get instant feedback. You know if stuff is working right away.

The thing about hipsters is that they take very seriously trying to make themselves look like they don't take themselves seriously.

Growing up in the 70s and 80s, it took effort to be a nerd. You had to seek out the nerd stuff.

The worst day ever was when I found out my grandfather was going to die.

Alcohol is like pouring smiles on your brain.

When I was growing up, I was as socially outcast as any nerd could possibly be. I was in the chess club, I brought D&D stuff to school, I had every game system you could imagine, I spent countless hours at arcades, computer camp, loud presence in the Latin Club. All that stuff.