When comedians get successful, the fans that they have aren't the fans they would hang out with. I don't have that problem.

Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.

The nerds provide the toys that distract the morons. So the nerds are sort of the new drug-dealers. We're the drug dealers of the 21st century because we provide all the brain candy for the mouth-breathers, for lack of a better word.

I probably get one or two days off every five or six weeks.

Real philosophy is like trying to read an alarm system installation manual in Korean.

I feel like so much of why I sort of want to work in television is so that people know to come see me live.

Do you think Patrick Swayze now goes up behind people in pottery classes and hugs them just to crack up other ghosts?