You walk into a strip club with a wad of cash; they all flock around you. Strippers are just pigeons with tits. They go where the bread is.

I would say that nerds, as a rule, are much more sexually active than the average person. There's a lot of anxiety and stress in the nerd brain, so sex is good for that.

Stand-up isn't something I just sit down and start writing - it's ideas you come up with in the shower, while you're driving, waiting in line.

I am a freelancer. My services are available to anyone at any time.

Nerdists, unlike nerds, tend to be creators as much as consumers. They're creative consumers.

Twitter is really a hyper-distilled version of how the internet should work - short bursts of relatively useful information.

Comment threads are the new therapy for people. They just go and post the worst things they can think of because they feel bad, and then other people start attacking them, and then they attack back.