Twitter is really a hyper-distilled version of how the internet should work - short bursts of relatively useful information.

When I was in grade school I was into chess club, Latin club, D&D, computer camp - everything that made vaginas go away.

You can't touch the strippers. Why are you paying to not touch someone? That is weird. How do you win in that situation? That is like walking into a deli, starving, and being like, 'Here's $300 - can I stare at the roast beef? Better yet, I'll sit down in this chair and you can mash it around my mouth and balls.

Twitter is basically text messaging. Twitter is a guy you can always elbow in the side and say, "Hey, look, a guy in a clown suit just threw up!" And I don't have 400-800 words to say about that, I just wanted to say that one thing.

Like lycanthropy, the nerd gene can skip a generation. My maternal grandfather was a technophile.

Every time I finish a record, it's sort of feels like, "I can't believe that I'm hanging out and having a conversation, and people are gonna listen to this." It's an odd thing, but it's really cool.

I'm not fun to bowl with. I take it way too seriously. I have high expectations for myself.