Pimp stands for Positive Intellectual Motivated Person. It has nothing to do with selling sex for money.

The thing is - I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.

The Smurf village was destroyed weeks ago and Bush has still not made an appearance. George Bush doesn't care about tiny blue people.

Canada, or as i call them, America Light.

I had no choice but to make me as a comedian, because I am not particularly gifted with a lot of marketable skills. Unless I really want to spend the rest of my life temping, or teaching drama to third-graders, I don't have a lot of other options - which is freeing, in a way. I never have to say, "Well, I could always go back to law school."

You rarely hear anyone use the word pancreas in a not-horrible context.

If I could go back and talk to the me who was just starting to do comedy, I would have told myself to relax and not worry about things happening right away. That's a mistake a lot of people make - they think a year is a long time and it's really not.