Humorists are always pessimists. They're reactionaries: because they see that every golden cloud has a black lining.

The great white city of brotherhood, Washington.

Why is it every careerist tries to turn his mother into a Madonna--to prove his intellect is a virgin birth, papa had nothing to do with it? It's the sign of the misogynist.

It's fine to be a great democrat when you've a slave to rub your boots on.

Anyone would think a thin stick like me, weak and miserable, would go down with everything: do you think I get more than my old cough every winter? I bet I live till ninety, with all my aches and pains. To think that's fifty more years of the Great-I-Am.

A mother! What are we worth really? They all grow up whether you look after them or not.

It's easy to make money. You put up the sign Bank and someone walks in and hands you his money. The façade is everything.