Humorists are always pessimists. They're reactionaries: because they see that every golden cloud has a black lining.

All new money is made through the shifting of social classes and the dispossession of old classes.

No rich man is a patriot, no rich man is a friend. They have all only got one fatherland the Ritz-Carlton; and one friend the mistress they're promising to divorce their wives for.

money that is in billions and monopolies isn't money at all, because the people have none, and money is democratic, everyone has to have some or there's none at all.

There are so may ways to kills yourself, they're just old-fashioned with their permanganate: do you think I'd take permanganate? I wouldn't want to burn my insides out and live to tell the tale as well: idiots! It's simple, I'd drown myself... Why be in misery at the last?

About myself - no. I'm unimportant, an observer, a wandering animal.

Money goes where money is, money yearns where money is.