It was easy to see how upsetting it would be if women began to love freely where love came to them. An abyss would open in the principal shopping street of every town.

Humorists are always pessimists. They're reactionaries: because they see that every golden cloud has a black lining.

Los Angeles is a Yukon for crime-story writers.

A speculator is a man who, if he dies at the right time, has a rich widow.

Old age is perhaps life's decision about us.

No rich man is a patriot, no rich man is a friend. They have all only got one fatherland the Ritz-Carlton; and one friend the mistress they're promising to divorce their wives for.

Weak, tea-drinking, effeminate, ineffectual--masters of India, robbers of South Africa, bedevillers of all Europe.