One realization does dawn upon the death of the second parent, namely that you've now moved into the green room to the River Styx. You're next.

The best advice on writing I've ever received was from William Zinsser: 'Be grateful for every word you can cut.'

I think that every man is afraid of his wife.

How many times had those awful words - "I know what I'm doing" - been uttered throughout history as prelude to disaster?

I looked at Mum and realized -- twang! -- that she was telling an untruth. A big untruth. And I remember thinking in that instant how thrilling and grown-up it must be to say something so completely untrue, as opposed to the little amateur fibs I was already practiced at -- horrid little apprentice sinner that I was --like the ones about you'd already said your prayers or washed under the fingernails. Yes, I was impressed. I too must learn to say these gorgeous untruths. Imaginary kings and queens would be my houseguests when I was older.

Who knew, in 2000, that compassionate conservatism meant bigger government, unrestricted government spending, government intrusion in personal matters, government ineptitude, and cronyism in disaster relief? Who knew, in 2000, that the only bill the president would veto, six years later, would be one on funding stem-cell research? A more accurate term for Mr. Bush's political philosophy might be incontinent conservatism.

I'm a Republican, but I find Nancy Pelosi very attractive. She hasn't done a single thing as congressman or Speaker of the House that has turned me on, but I find her quite okay.