It's amazing how relaxing it is not to claim you know more than you do. I'm surprised that those who claim to speak in the name of god don't take more advantage of this relief.

When you consider how many millions of workdays begin with hangovers great and small, it is mildly ­surprising to find how few real descriptions of the experience our literature can boast.

How ya doin'?' I always think, What kind of a question is that?, and I always reply, 'A bit early to tell.

What is it you most dislike? Stupidity, especially in its nastiest forms of racism and superstition.

I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor.

For me, the life of the angler is an almost flawless example of how not to have a good time.

In some ways I feel sorry for racists and for religious fanatics, because they so much miss the point of being human, and deserve a sort of pity. But then I harden my heart, and decide to hate them all the more, because of the misery they inflict and because of the contemptible excuses they advance for doing so.